Why I won't be going to see The Hobbit

An early warning: I'm in danger of coming across as extremely ignorant in this blog post. But at least I've disclosed my awareness of said ignorance, therefore making it slightly forgiveable.

Excluding those who live under rocks, (I hate that saying. How can you live under a rock if you're not a woodlouse?) everyone is aware that The Hobbit came out in cinemas this week.

First of all, I have no doubt that the book is an amazing piece of literature. As a hopeful writer I do feel a bit of guilt for not reading it. But the guilt I feel would be nothing compared to the pain I'd suffer trying to read it. I also feel a bit alien for not being excited about the film, but I'm used to the feeling.

My theory is that we like what we like,  we don't like what we don't like, and there's no changing that.
Nor should we be judged for any less-than-discerning tastes we may have (I'll make up as much crap as necessary to justify liking Made In Chelsea).

I watched all three Lord of The Rings films in the cinema when they came out. I remember going as a family, and I think the excitement I experienced was just the fact that I was going to the cinemas (I must not have went out much). I distinctly remember that all three of the films felt like they had about three endings. Five hours in they'd seem like they were coming to an end, and then something would happen it would go on for another two hours.

I tried my very best to follow them but I had no luck. I still have absolutely no idea what they're about. I've mentioned on several occasions my feelings towards films that require cognitive ability beyond figuring out where the screen is. I just felt so lost, and I don't want to pay money to just feel stupid. I dropped liquid onto an extension cable yesterday - I can figure that out for free.

Another reason I won't be going to see The Hobbit is that I never read a book backwards. The film is a prelude to The Lord of The Rings - in what world does it make sense to release it last?

I think I'll stick to Martin Freeman in The Office, where the world makes perfect sense.