Jess's law

Today is Friday 13th. But you probably knew that already. I'm guessing you've dodged scaffolding, ran away from a few black cats, got ready without using a mirror and walked to work like you've got a stick up your bum to avoid cracks in the pavement. Or maybe that's just me. 

As unlucky days go, this is the worst - apart from birthdays on February 29th. I've been thinking about luck recently, in particular Sod's law. I've come up with a way to use it to my advantage, and play life at its own, cruel game. 

And what better day to share my wisdom with you than the unlucky Friday 13th? Although, its taken me until the end of the day to publish this post. Unlucky.

Been waiting for the bus for ages?

Start tying your hair up - the more complicated the style, the better - or ring someone really important about something really important. The bus will come straight round the corner. 

Someone likes you, but the feeling isn't mutual?

Tell them you feel the same. This will be the very moment they decide they love someone else. 

It's too hot outside, you're in a rush and feeling flustered? 

Leave your umbrella at home. The rain will cool you down in no time. 

Feeling like you've gained a few pounds? 

Treat yourself to a shopping spree to accommodate your rounder figure. That extra weight weight will drop off immediately.

Hungover, craving a cheeseburger, but can't get out of bed?

Tell your friends you're becoming a vegetarian from now on. That cheeseburger will find its way to you in seconds.

Is your laptop playing up?

Get an IT person round immediately. As soon as they lay eyes on it, it'll work better than it ever has before. 

Waiting for an important parcel?

Take all your clothes off and start fake-tanning. That doorbell will be music to your ears in no time.

Invited to a party you really don't want to go to?

Book a plumber on the same day, and you can guarantee your valid excuse will knock on the door just when you should be leaving for the party.

Waiting for that special someone to text you back?

Find the nearest person and tell them you're fed up and you're swearing off men/women for ever. Reply: guaranteed.


  1. I pioneered the "light a cigarette if you want the bus to come" several years ago. But I think you should patent the rest.

  2. These are so true, especially the parcel one. xx

  3. I love these.

    "Your friend said they'd come over, but they seem to be taking forever? Get in the shower. That doorbell will ring instantly."

  4. These are great. I always seem to get in the shower just as a parcel that needs signing for arrives!

    Faye | freckles-and-all.com