Castor Disaster

You know when people say 'oh, that could only ever happen to me' when they do something clumsy? It seems that a lot of us have the habit of depicting ourselves as a bull in a china shop that attracts bad luck, awkward moments and weird experiences.

Well, I'm the opposite. Instead of telling everyone I'm a really clumsy person, proudly declaring to the world that outlandish things could only ever happen to me, I go through life in denial.

I choose to brush my clumsiness under the table. I'm forever battling this unorganised, prone-to-spillages side of me and pretending to be composed and together. The truth is that embarrassing moments are a regular occurrence in my life, and I want to share a recent one with you. If I can prevent just one person from the same fate then my job here is done.

I was an impressively stupid child. Aside from roasting conkers and eating them straight out of the oven and ending up in A&E, one of the stupidest things I did was to continuously pluck my eyebrows into unflattering, uneven shapes. I've been left with wobbly, shapeless blobs on my face, so I've been trying to grow them out using different products aimed at helping eyebrow regrowth (I promise it gets more interesting).

I came across a few recommendations of castor oil, which apparently can be applied to help eyebrows regrow. I didn't know anything about it, but I decided to run out and get me some of that. I immediately went to my local pharmacy and, well let me set the scene.

It's quiet, there's no music and it's a very small shop. The half a dozen customers can hear each other talking and make no attempt to hide that that's exactly what they're doing. I go up to the counter and eagerly ask for castor oil. The pharmacist tells me they have some in stock and I quite literally jump for joy, shouting 'yay!'.

He hands me the castor oil and I skip out of the shop, after shouting across to my boyfriend: 'They have castor oil - yaaay!' I carried my purchase out of the shop as if I'd just found a paid of Louboutins for £10. Once I was out of the shop and on my way home, I read the bottle...