Why climate change makes me not want to grow up

Once upon a time, my idea of a nightmare was losing my phone or breaking a nail before a job interview. But now I'm haunted with images of drowning, boiling or starving to death. It would seem my priorities, in relation to the rest of my generation, are a bit off balance, and I know exactly what to blame.

At an age when I'm required to start making big life decisions, the increasingly sombre news of the effects of climate change has started to affect how I think and how I imagine my life as I grow older.

Having children

I've never exactly had a maternal burn in my ovaries. But recently, climate change has started to become a big factor in me not really wanting to procreate (don't I make it sound sexy?). I don't want to have kids and become rather fond of them, only to die and leave them in a world that, in their life time, will become uninhabitable. Thankfully, this means I can justify getting a pet dog. But definitely not a tortoise.

Owning a house

I've never been one to want to rush and secure a place on that much-coveted ladder they call 'property'. But recently I've been wondering if I'll ever own a house. I wouldn't want to buy somewhere in a city because, as my generation grows up, the population will continue to grow and the temperature will rise. Who wants to own property in a disease-ridden, even-more-overcrowded city?

I feel like I need to find somewhere out of the city centre, where the temperature's cooler, where it's quite high up and not prone to flooding, storm-proof, with good water supply but not prone to too much rain. Is that too much to ask?

Saving money

Instead of saving up for a mortgage deposit or a car, I want to start saving for the purpose of hoarding a vast collection of food and water, otherwise I'll be thirsty from droughts and succumbing to eating insects along with everyone else. And that includes a lot of chocolate, as apparently that's on its way out, too.

My career

Future me is going to want to stay inside at all times. What career can I pursue that will allow me to never leave the house, so that I won't ever have to go outside into a world taken over by killer hornets, malaria-carrying mosquitoes and Lyme disease-infected ticks?

Bathing 

Longer droughts will eventually dry up parts of England. Drier winters, coupled with added pressure to our underground water supplies, means there'll be more than the odd hosepipe ban. All I want to do from now until the very last possible moment is sit in a nice hot bath and cry at the thought of being sentenced to showers for the rest of my life.

Driving

I've almost given up on the idea of ever learning to drive - is there much point? Apparently there will be cars that drive themselves in the future. I think I'll spend my money on much-needed sun cream supplies instead.

Sorry if your lovely life now looks like a big, dark hole. I just wanted someone to share these fears with.